dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
