Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
home. puking in laundry basket.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
