Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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