do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
