professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
