apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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