I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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