i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
