chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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