I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
