We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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