Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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