what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
