coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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