Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize