his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
