I think my vagina is haunted
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
