Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
