I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
