grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
