the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
