Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
