Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
