We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
