you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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