Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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