Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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