I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
