when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i out mim tonsoeep
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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