Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
