Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Randomize
