How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
