Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
