Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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