I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
