just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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