I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
