Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
