i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Mom said you looked used
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
