two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
