some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
