You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
