He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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