doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
