Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
