Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My vagina just recognized that song.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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