and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
