She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
