what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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