we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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