I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
