I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you had me at cake vodka
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
