i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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