Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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