You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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