My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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