I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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